themightybosstone | Limelight IC Inbox

chiffon: at the sun sign cabin, in my room.
chiffon: I know typing texts is trickier for you so let's just speak in person.

[There's a knock at her door, not too much later.]

Hey, Chiff?

[ Opens the door and steps back to let him in. ]

... thank you for coming.

[ Chiff, who never cries, has red-rimmed eyes. ]

[ Chiff, who never cries... ]

Oh, BRO...

[ He'll step in, close the door first, then go down to knees to hug her properly. ]

Wha' happened?

[ Does not resist, just. Holds him tightly. Still shaking a little with sobs. ]

... how do you break up with people you're not even dating?

.... oh. Chiff.

[ He hugs her a little tighter, pressing a kiss to her forehead. ]

Someone let you down?

[ Leans into it, because she loves it when he does it. ]

No... they're wonderful. Even now.

I've just had a lot to think about after that last performance... and I don't think I'm letting myself be valued the way I should.

[To be fair, Brocade doesn't think she's EVER valued the way she should be because his standards are TOO DAMN HIGH.]

Whatcha mean?

Do you remember... when I asked you to let me be there for you- to do things in return that matched what you did for me? Because I didn't feel right I was taking, and taking?

With some people I care for... I feel like I've been giving too much. More than I should, without getting the same in return, when it matters.

Giving both my care and my burdens, because I trust them, but they won't trust me back to handle the same for them.

Aint feelin' that trust an' vulnerability is even, then? .. Yeah, that's a good reason to pull back. Let em figure things out.

... still... gotta really hurt.

[ That's it, isn't it? ]

I didn't realize how much it did... until I found myself rejected repeatedly... when I asked if some of them would stay with me after that horrible time. I felt upset- and I wanted them near, to give them the same comfort they give me.

But they didn't even think of me as someone they needed it from. They didn't stay. And when I did meet them again- I smelled who they were with. And I felt... hurt from it.

Only Aviana stayed. She made sure even that she came back to stay with me, after checking in on everyone else.

So I wondered... does anyone need me? What am I even doing with them, if I don't even give them a bit of comfort... if I don't know things about them others do more, even with the time I've given them...? Normally I'd not even worry about this. Of course they'd have others they'd trust more.

But it's when I realized I was trusting so much more than they were that I felt like someone had ripped me apart the way the Dame made us feel like we did. Only a hundred times more.

Edited 2024-10-13 15:10 (UTC)

Some people got different ways a needing. Different ways a wantin'. And if they didn't stay with you.

You ...

You did right, lettin' em go. [He runs his hand down along her back, slow, soothing circles.] You need t'find someone who has the same way that you got.

[ That's really all she needs at that point to make her decision, and her body starts shaking in small sobs. She's a very quiet crier. ]

If this... can hurt so much... being with someone more than this... feels like it would be worse. I don't want to imagine how much more it will hurt. I don't like crying over anyone like this.

[ Sobbing. ]

Why does it... keep happening? Crying sucks.

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