[ the reaction happens before she can reign it in-- her ears pin back and she goes a few shades paler, heart rate picking up, tail tucked.
And she knows he'll have noticed, which just ratchets up the anxiety more and if she explains herself-- how does she explain herself? How do you look at someone's offered hand, open and honest, and pull away from it without hurting them? You don't.
... how does she keep managing to bungle these nice moments, when he's happy and warm and content? He shouldn't be glad at all. She takes a breath and pushes herself up a bit to sit, so she can speak more easily. ]
I-I. I'm.
[ Freezes. Then, a little quickly: ]
-- You and Aphelios would have come together before long back in your home. I'm certain. And you're so-- so lovely and charming, just the way you are, I'm sure you would have pulled in others soon enough. It's hard not to be attracted to you...
[ she flinches like she wasn't expecting it but still lets him do that, breathing a little hard before she manages to force it under control and rasp out, throat a little tight. ]
N-no, I-- Sett-- I like you. I like you very, very much. I care about you so much. I do. I do. I'm sorry.
[He pets her hair, his own breathing evening out. He can do this.]
Like, I've had a lot of flings but nothin' a think about a few days after. But... I sometimes am just walkin' by stuff and I'm like. Shit the view RIGHT here is great. I should take the joggin' route this way so Val can see it.
Or am just, lookin' forward to talking to you. Or making a joke that gets you to tuck your head in a bit and fight that lil smile when you don't wanna egg me on.
[ letting him pet, sort of... sitting on her knees, curling over so she's huddled against his chest again-- head angled just so, so her ear lays over his heart. so she can feel it when his voice rumbles in his chest. and...
...
What he said-- that's it? That's what love is? ... Isn't it too simple? Not that she thinks Sett's feelings aren't strong-- no, the opposite, it was impossible for him not to feel these things so strongly. But it's not the earth-shattering force she thought it was, was it? The sort of thing that hits you and you know it, immediately and with no question. Something that can only be what it is.
... Was it like that for most people? Slow, and soft? Little buzzes of happiness at the mere thought or sight? Looking at the tiny parts of the whole and feeling so strongly about them that it's almost certainly That? Omen doesn't love her, does he? He didn't say so-- never so much said he liked her, really, until recently. Said he'd trade the whole world for her, but is that love? Said she deserved to be loved as a person, but-- does she deserve to love, in turn? Does she know how? Should she, when things are bound to end up hurting anyone she shares that with?
... What does love feel like? Can she love someone so soon? How do you know?
She's still for a moment longer when he's done speaking, before finally releasing a shuddering exhale, lifting her head to shift up to look at him properly again, her brow furrowed with worry. ]
I... if I could... in this place, spend every waking moment with the two of you... I would. I want to.
[ watches his expression change... and her tail hesitantly starts up a slow wag. Maybe she did something right here? She does smile a bit.
... But she still feels guilty. Her tail stays low, subdued, and she huddles down against his chest again. Thinks about what Megumi says. It's a start. Just a start. ]
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That's some stupid luck.
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And she knows he'll have noticed, which just ratchets up the anxiety more and if she explains herself-- how does she explain herself? How do you look at someone's offered hand, open and honest, and pull away from it without hurting them? You don't.
... how does she keep managing to bungle these nice moments, when he's happy and warm and content? He shouldn't be glad at all. She takes a breath and pushes herself up a bit to sit, so she can speak more easily. ]
I-I. I'm.
[ Freezes. Then, a little quickly: ]
-- You and Aphelios would have come together before long back in your home. I'm certain. And you're so-- so lovely and charming, just the way you are, I'm sure you would have pulled in others soon enough. It's hard not to be attracted to you...
1/3
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Hey... Don't worry. I shouldna spoken for you neither.
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N-no, I-- Sett-- I like you. I like you very, very much. I care about you so much. I do. I do. I'm sorry.
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He just. Looks at her in mute confusion and his own distress.]
Um?
1/2
She has misread the situation. Looks at him-- her ears go flatter and her tail curls in tighter, if that's possible, and she looks away again. ]
Sorry-- I'm sorry. I didn't-- I don't want you to think I don't...
...
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I d... on't know if I'm... capable... of lll. Loving... someone. Properly. I.
I don't... want to hurt you both...
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[It isn't, but it will be. He's been here. He's an adult. He's AN ADULT he can handle this. And... she cares about him and nothing's changing.]
As long as-
It's okay if I do? You don't have to back... But I do.
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... I don't-- understand why you would. "Love" me.
[ a pause, then quieter, mumbled: ]
-- I don't know what that feels like.
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Like, I've had a lot of flings but nothin' a think about a few days after. But... I sometimes am just walkin' by stuff and I'm like. Shit the view RIGHT here is great. I should take the joggin' route this way so Val can see it.
Or am just, lookin' forward to talking to you. Or making a joke that gets you to tuck your head in a bit and fight that lil smile when you don't wanna egg me on.
And sometimes I just look at you and I'm just-
Happy?
So... that's what it feels like. For me.
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...
What he said-- that's it? That's what love is? ... Isn't it too simple? Not that she thinks Sett's feelings aren't strong-- no, the opposite, it was impossible for him not to feel these things so strongly. But it's not the earth-shattering force she thought it was, was it? The sort of thing that hits you and you know it, immediately and with no question. Something that can only be what it is.
... Was it like that for most people? Slow, and soft? Little buzzes of happiness at the mere thought or sight? Looking at the tiny parts of the whole and feeling so strongly about them that it's almost certainly That? Omen doesn't love her, does he? He didn't say so-- never so much said he liked her, really, until recently. Said he'd trade the whole world for her, but is that love? Said she deserved to be loved as a person, but-- does she deserve to love, in turn? Does she know how? Should she, when things are bound to end up hurting anyone she shares that with?
... What does love feel like? Can she love someone so soon? How do you know?
She's still for a moment longer when he's done speaking, before finally releasing a shuddering exhale, lifting her head to shift up to look at him properly again, her brow furrowed with worry. ]
I... if I could... in this place, spend every waking moment with the two of you... I would. I want to.
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... I feel the same.
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... But she still feels guilty. Her tail stays low, subdued, and she huddles down against his chest again. Thinks about what Megumi says. It's a start. Just a start. ]
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... I'm sorry. I know intention doesn't mean much but I didn't mean to hurt you.
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No, I know. I mean, I keep spooking ya too.
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[ soothed though, slowly melting against him. ]
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I accept you and all of your weird hangups.
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[ buries her face against him. ]
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Actually no, it's just Phel with any idea.
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[ quiet for a long moment ]
... This is-- the most relaxed I've been in a long time.
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There's a bit of a humbled tone in the next thing he says.]
I'm glad.
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