Sorry for giving you a panic attack. And for dragging you into all that in the first place. I selfishly thought it would be kinder to "let" you guys say goodbye to each other, knowing that I was going to push for a kill, only to—
[Oh, his heart clenches and doesn't seem to beat again for another second or two. It resumes with a thud he feels right in his stomach.]
...
She's amazin' you know. Most intelligent person I know. Talks in words that seem to go on forever an' mean things with super exactness. Sometimes, I wondered what she saw in me. Heck, I tried to get some learning in me too t'keep up.
...
But she's also the dumbest fuckin' person I know too. Somehow. At the same time.
[ god, Brocade's endearing when he talks about her. always has been. he may be the most massive cat-person in Estoria, but with her? he's a tiny little puppy.
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BRO!
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Is this a bad time?
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no preamble, very steadily, clearly rehearsed ]
Sorry for giving you a panic attack. And for dragging you into all that in the first place. I selfishly thought it would be kinder to "let" you guys say goodbye to each other, knowing that I was going to push for a kill, only to—
For it not to matter anyway.
It was pointless. I hurt you for no reason.
That's all.
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... Y'tried to do right by me. And by him.
... If anyone should be apologizin' it should be me.
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An' I feel like shit. It wasn't-
I didn't mean it like that. Just, woulda been a valid strat on yer part. But. Yeah.
It was shit.
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just walks up and hugs Brocade instead ]
Yeah. It was shit. Don't apologize.
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Too bad. M'sorry... It... didn't change yer choice, right? I didn't want that.
[He didn't want to see them all broken like that.]
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[ god, why's his voice shaking, he thought he was over this ]
I couldn't convince them, boss. I decided, but I'm not... the Family, it's not just me, and I couldn't—
[ cuts himself off with a sob ]
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You did good.
Listenin' to everyone. Even if it's wrong. ... even when it hurts.
1/3
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he's not dealing with this ]
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Do you still love Azalea?
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I... aint never figured out how to love any less.
Where's that come from?
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She thought I had more to lose.
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...
She's amazin' you know. Most intelligent person I know. Talks in words that seem to go on forever an' mean things with super exactness. Sometimes, I wondered what she saw in me. Heck, I tried to get some learning in me too t'keep up.
...
But she's also the dumbest fuckin' person I know too. Somehow. At the same time.
1/2
good for him. ]
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sinks into Brocade's arms and sighs ]
I'm so mad, boss. It's fucked up. You wanna know what really happened?
She agreed with me. She was the only one. She was going to look with me, I thought. As long as we could convince the others.
Then she decided to do it all by herself. Even though— I mean, there wasn't time. It was fine. She just wanted to protect us. Whatever.
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[So in the end, she took his choice.] Oh.
That fuckin' sucks.
1/3
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Sorry. This was a— I shouldn't have—
[ another slow exhale. ]
Fuck. Sorry.
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It aint yapping. It's drainin' out them wounds that don't leave scars.
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That's the corniest fucking thing you've ever said.
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1/2
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